Two For Tina and Two for Me, Please

Tina Belcher is so lucky, Just when you think all is lost, here come two boys ready to fight for her love. Although, one of them is only fighting because the other one showed interest in her. Ahhh, middle school romance: the love, the laughter, the drama. Season 3 Episode 17 was a steamy one.

It was time to prepare for the middle school dance and Tina was feeling confident, flirty and fabulous. She approached Jimmy Junior and straight up asked him to accompany her to the dance. Jimmy Junior told Tina he wanted to keep his options open and gave her a soft maybe. Jimmy Junior said maybe, but all Tina heard was "Blah blah blah, yes, blah blah blah, dance, blah blah blah." And that was that, Tina went home to rave about the news, but on her way home she ran into Josh, her spice milk aisle dancer boy. Spicy milk boy asked her to go to his dance academy's dance with him and the chemistry was undeniable.

Tina went to school the next day to ask Jimmy Junior if he was ready to give her a solid answer. HE told her to stop pushing him so Tina told him that was fine and she would go with the other boy that asked her, Josh. As soon as she told Jimmy Junior that another boy was interested in her, he immediately changed his mind and decided to take her to the dance. Tina still chose Josh, so Jimmy Junior was determined to fight for Tina's love. This is it. Tina has become a two-man woman. She was unstoppable, nothing could bring her down.

I don’t know what I’d do if that were me. It’s every girl’s dream to have two delicious dancers fight for her hand on the dancefloor. It was invigorating. I was living vicariously through Tina during this entire episode.

When Tina got to the dance with Josh, Jimmy Junior showed up and was determined to win back his woman who was never really his woman in the first place. Jimmy Junior challenged Josh to a dance-off, and what a dance off it was. Josh pranced the dance floor with ballet moves that could take your breath away. Then Jimmy Junior stole the show with his hip-hop grooves as he popped and locked his way into our hearts. The results were so close. It was a tie.

Tina couldn’t choose between the two, so she suggested a brother-wives kind of scenario, but neither of the boys were having it. So even though the boys were tied, Tina was the ultimate loser.

The moral of the story is: Make sure the boys you’re interested in are down for the tricycle.

Pride, Prejudice, and Belchers

It's Summer break, which is great. Except, when you're in college, you don't get much of a Summer break. It's more of a few free days between Summer courses. So here I am, it's the last day of my very brief Summer break and how do I spend it? Watching Season Five of Bob's Burgers, of coarse.

My favorite episode of Season Five has got to be Episode Eighteen, the Gayle Tales, hands down. It's got love, it's got dragons, it's got drama, it's got butts.

In this episode, Gayle is distraught because she's been stood up by a man named Stacey. I can relate, Gayle. So anyways, Gayle runs to the restaurant, crying because she's convinced she is going to die alone. She tries to recruit one of the kids to accompany her on the date-that-could-have-been, but the kids are all grounded for humiliating Linda at the grocery store. So, to compete for a night out with Gayle, the kids write essays with Gayle as the subject. The outcome is absolutely brilliant.

Gene goes first and I'm pretty sure his story is the plot for Dream Girls, but I've never seen that movie so I'm not entirely sure. Out of the three, Gene's was the least memorable, but don't let my opinion sway yours.

Louise's story was brilliant, even though she totally stole the plot line for Game of Thrones. She did a real good job of telling the story of Gayle of Catsterose and her evil sister, Lindette of Litterboxia. Lindette steals Gayle's cat dragons so she and Louise venture to Litterboxia to steal them back. Gayle succeeds, obviously. And even though Louise's story was very interesting, I'm a hopeless romantic, so Tina's story is my fav.

The next story is Tina's, and what a story it is. She based her plot line on Pride and Prejudice. It is never exclusively mentioned, but come on, everyone knows Pride and Prejudice. In Tina's story, Gayle is the oldest sister and is terribly shy. Because Gayle is terribly shy, all of the sisters are forced to die alone because they can't get married until Gayle does. That blows. Pretend Tina forces pretend Gayle to go to the ball with Lord Belcher, heir to the Belcher Burger fortune. Pretend Gayle and Lord Belcher dance all night until his fiancee Lady Linda comes bursting in the door and ruins everything. Pretend Gayle goes into a sick sleep and when all is lost, Scott Bacula comes and pretend Gayle is brought back to health and time travel to their double wedding with Tina and Jimmy Jr. 

This story was brilliant, and even though I know it wasn't really Tina that wrote it, I can't help but feel that Tina is an amazing story writer.